Exercises
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Exercises for Chapter 1 Exercises for Chapter 7
Exercises for Chapter
2 Exercises for Chapter 8
Exercises for Chapter 3 Exercises
for Chapter 9
Exercises for Chapter 4 Exercises for Chapter 10
Exercises for Chapter 5 Exercises for Chapter 11
Exercises for Chapter
6 Exercises for Chapter 12
Chapter 1, Exercise 1. Say these passages out loud, placing an upright bar at each
pause you hear. Then circle the emphasized syllables, most often the accented syllable
of the last highly significant word before each pause. It might help to deemphasize
differences in speed and accent. Speak the sentences in Martian, "Take-
1) Sales of Britannica’s 32 volumes peaked in 1990. Then they dropped for six years.
They fell 60 percent. The company had to reinvent itself online. In 1996, Britannica
eliminated its legendary staff of 1,000 door-
2) Sales of Britannica’s
32 volumes peaked in 1990, but in the next six years, they dropped 60 percent, and
the company moved quickly to reinvent itself online. In 1996, Britannica eliminated
its legendary staff of 1,000 door-
3. Sales of Britannica’s 32 volumes fell by 60 percent between 1990 and 1996 and
had to be made up for by online sales. In 1996, Britannica eliminated its already-
Sample Answer
2) Sales of Britannica’s 32 volumes peaked in 1990, | but in the next six years,
they dropped 60 percent, | and the company moved quickly to reinvent itself online.
| In 1996, | Britannica eliminated its legendary staff of 1,000 door-
Chapter 1, Exercise 2. Rewrite the following passages to replace long, awkward breath
units with shorter, more manageable ones. Hint: A quick way to shorten breath units
is to create more sentences. Aim for units roughly five to twenty-
1) In late medieval England armed and belligerent bands of agricultural workers who were incensed over standard of living inequities between themselves and their employers attacked manor houses and burned crops and barns in an effort to frighten the rich into a more equal division of the country's wealth.
2) The problem with corn and other alternative fuel sources boils down to the cost
and output of fuels made from switch grass and other non-
Sample Answer
1) In late medieval England | bands of agricultural workers took up arms. | Incensed over their standard of living, | they attacked manor houses and burned crops and barns, | hoping to frighten the rich into a more equal division of wealth.
Chapter 1, Exercise 4. How did each writer in the following exchange violate the
writing situation in terms of sentence structure, diction, and sound qualities?
Rewrite each letter so it projects an effective voice.
A. Gentlemen:
It’s 6:35 and company is coming at seven. I check the roast I have
going in the crockpot. It hasn’t even started cooking. The carrots and onions are
raw. This is a new appliance. I bought it just over a month ago. No heat at all.
What am I going to feed the Browards? I had to go out for chicken.
Tell me how a
month-
Cordially yours,
A. Piedmont Lucas
B.
Dear Mr. Piedmont:
I am in receipt of your missive dated 14 November of the present
year. I regret to inform you that institutional policy militates against your final
request inasmuch as the information you supply is not only incomplete but wholly
unsubstantiated. To bring your claim to a favorable termination, my firm will require
the part number and order code of the appliance in question, date of installation
and date of failure. We also require the damaged pot itself, to be inspected for
evidence of tampering or abuse. Should your claim be allowed, we will reimburse any
acceptable packing and shipping costs.
If these terms do not meet with your approval,
address all further correspondence in the matter to our legal department.
Sincerely
yours,
Fenwicke O. Hardesty
Sample Answer
A. Gentlemen:
I’m writing to complain about the failure of one of your five-
Cordially
yours,
A. Piedmont Lucas
Chapter 1, Exercise 6. Rewrite the following passages so that the first contains only two long sentences and the second contains four short sentences. Change the sentence structure however you like, but include all the major ideas of the original and stick as close as you can to the same language. How do your revisions change the writer's voice?
1) Most fossil dinosaur eggs are sterile or contain undeveloped embryos. Fossil eggs that do contain developed embryos can be painstakingly peeled away, layer by layer, to reveal the embryo. This gives paleontologists their best direct evidence of the dinosaur's appearance. All the animal's parts are present in the embryo and connected in the proper manner. But the odds of finding an egg containing a developed embryo are roughly only one in five hundred. And you don't know whether a developed embryo is present until you've carefully peeled away enough layers to see for yourself.
2) When it came night, the white waves paced to and fro in the moonlight, and the wind brought the sound of the great sea's voice to the men on shore, and they felt that they could then be interpreters.
Steven Crane,
"The Open Boat"
Sample Answer
1) While most fossil dinosaur eggs are sterile or undeveloped, those that contain
developed embryos can be painstakingly peeled away, layer by layer, to reveal the
embryo, giving paleontologist their best direct evidence of the dinosaur’s appearance
because the animal’s parts are present and connected in the proper manner. But the
odds of finding an egg containing a developed embryo are roughly only one in five
hundred, and you don’t know whether a developed embryo is present until you’ve carefully
peeled away enough layers to see for yourself.
Chapter 1, Exercise 8. Rewrite the following passages, reversing the styles so that the first sounds slangy and colloquial like the second and the second sounds formal and restrained like the first. In addition to changing individual words, try adding direct address pronouns (you, your) to the first passage and removing them from the second. How do your revisions change the writer's voice?
1) In 1862, just two years after their marriage, which had followed a long and ardent courtship, Dante Gabriel Rossetti's wife Elizabeth died of an overdose of laudanum, a powerful sedative. Overcome with grief, Rossetti placed the only manuscript copy of his unpublished poems, many of which he had written for Elizabeth, in his cherished wife's casket to be buried with the body. Seven years later, after watching several friends whose work was inferior to his own become recognized poets, Rossetti regretted his rash gesture and took steps to correct it, causing Elizabeth's casket to be exhumed, retrieving the handwritten volume, and publishing his recovered poems in 1870 to wide acclaim.
2) The old Roman sculptors had this process they called lost wax to make bronze
statues on the cheap. You would slap a lump of clay into about the shape you wanted.
Then you would put wax over that the way you wanted the statue to look, being real
artistic. Then more clay on top. When the whole shebang was set up hard, you'd
pour your hot bronze in there where the wax was. The bronze would melt the wax and
go where the wax was. You'd break away the clay inside and outside the metal part.
Presto chango, a bronze statue that was hollow on the inside!
Sample Answer
1) In 1862, just two years after they married after long, hot courtship, Dante Rossetti’s wife Elizabeth died from too much laudanum. Heartsick, Rossetti tossed the only copy of his unpublished poems, many written for Elizabeth, into the coffin to go under with her. Seven years later, after several worse poets he knew got famous, Rossetti had second thoughts. Don’t you know, he had Lizzy dug up so he could get back his handwritten book! He published the poems in 1870, and that’s how he became famous himself.
Chapter 1, Exercise 9. Rewrite the following passages to eliminate stereotypes and discriminatory language.
1) When doctors are in training they have little time for wives and children.
Then when they begin to practice they can make so much money from just one more office
visit or hospital round that they put in extra time almost despite themselves. It
gets to the point that when his anniversary or child's birthday comes up, the doctor
simply tells his nurse to go out and buy something she thinks will make an appropriate
present.
2) Though we seldom spend much time there, the poor parts of town are full
of physically challenged Afro Americans and Mexican Hispanics who are undereducated
and unemployable. How well would you have done if you had been brought up in a family
headed by someone with this many problems?
3) Mankind has always striven for progress.
Where would we be today if men of the past had not struggled for our good? The scientist
who put in extra hours in his lab advanced our knowledge of natural forces. The
parent who taught his children right from wrong promoted a stable society. And the
men of the cloth who stood up for Christian values kept alive our precious faith.
Sample Answer
1) Doctors in training have little time for spouses and children. Then when they begin to practice they can make so much money from just one more office visit or hospital round that they put in extra time almost despite themselves. It gets to the point that when an anniversary or child’s birthday comes up, the doctor simply tells his or her nurse to go out and buy an appropriate present.
Chapter 2, Exercise 1. Rewrite the following passages so they are only half as long and easier to read. Change the sentence structure however you like, but include the essential content of the original. At times you may have to guess what the writer meant. How do your revisions change the writer's voice?
1) Taking up a position in near proximity to a radio or similar device may significantly
improve reception inasmuch as degraded radio waves dispersed by reflective surfaces
in a typical room or enclosure are regularly present in sufficient quantity to noticeably
degrade signal quality. A body adjacent to the reception device acts in effect as
a filter to absorb randomly dispersed waves so that the signal selection mechanism
can better distinguish the strong primary signal and reject the diminished number
of weaker reflective signals.
2) Although environmental activists and scholars,
who might be termed the environmentally concerned community, have evidenced a longstanding
commitment to ongoing conflict with resource-
3) Assuming a flat-
Sample Answer
1) Standing close to a radio may improve its reception by blocking degraded radio waves reflected from nearby surfaces. Your body absorbs these random waves so the receiver can better distinguish the strong primary signal. (34 words)
Chapter 2, Exercise 2. Rewrite the social work and physical education passages from the last group of examples so they are only half as long and easier to read. Change the sentence structure however you like, but include the essential content of the original. How do your revisions change the writer's voice?
Sample Answer Based on the Social Work Passage
Much can be learned from studying at-
Chapter 2, Exercise 4. Rewrite the following passages in the most overblown pompous style you can invent. Pretend you're a distinguished professor, a CEO, a brain surgeon, or a bishop. Use a thesaurus.
1) You must remember this,
A kiss is still a kiss,
A sigh is just a sigh;
The fundamental things don't change,
As time goes by.
Herman Hupfeld, "As Time Goes By"
2) The growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that
things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the
number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.
George Eliot, Middlemarch
3) We say the cows laid out Boston. Well, there are worse surveyors.
Emerson, "Worship"
Sample Answer
1) Two principles for memorization:
Osculation’s osculation,
And suspiration’s suspiration.
Yea,
basic nature perseveres
Throughout the years.
Chapter 2, Exercise 5. Rewrite the Aunt Marney, and psychology passages so they
are only half as long, less overwrought, and easier to read. Change the sentence
structure however you like, but include all the essential content of the original.
How do your revisions change the writer's voice?
Sample Answer
Across the room sat Aunt Marney, her calloused hands crossed in her lap and her head nodding after fifty years of farm work and mothering. Outside, untilled fields surrounded her decaying little house. (33 words)
Chapter 2, Exercise 6. Rewrite the following passages in the most overheated style you can invent. Pretend you're a creative genius of great sympathy and compassion. Use a thesaurus.
1) In most of mankind gratitude is merely a secret hope for greater favors.
La Rochefoucauld, Maximes
2) I opened the door, to find a four-
Rita Mae Brown,
3) Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Groucho Marx
Sample Answer
1) Throughout the teeming landscapes and towering cities of humanity, what sometimes
goes under the delightful name of “gratitude” is nothing more than a jealously hidden
aspiration to even greater benefits.
Chapter 2, Exercise 8. Rewrite the following passages to relieve the tedium. Vary the length of the breath units so that some are at least twice as long as others. Experiment with colloquial and formal diction. Try to make emphasis fall on expressive, relevant words. Change the sentence structure however you like, but include the essential content of the original. How do your revisions change the writer's voice?
1) The SS doctor Josef Mengele came to Auschwitz after being wounded on the Russian
Front. At Auschwitz Mengele selected prisoners to be sent to the gas chambers at
regular intervals. Among the prisoners he excused from death by asphyxiation were
sets of twins he reserved for medical research. Mengele performed a number of medical
experiments on these twins to determine what characteristics were inherited. His
experiments on the twins included inoculating them with diseases and dissecting them
after they were killed.
2) E.H. Carr was a historian at Cambridge University who
was one of the first to ask "What is history?" Carr thought it was not good enough
to say that history is the record of what had happened in the past. He pointed out
that most of what happened never gets into history books and what does is interpreted
by historians in the act of writing the books. So history is more what goes on in
the mind of historians studying the past than it is the past itself.
3) America
101 concerns two brothers from a small Mexican town. They decide to cross the border
and live the “American Dream,” but what they get is not at all what they expected.
They are double-
Sample Answer
1) After being wounded on the Russian Front, The SS doctor Josef Mengele came to Auschwitz, where he selected prisoners to be sent to the gas chambers. But he reserved a few for “medical research,” especially twins, whom he used to investigate inherited traits. His experiments on the twins included inoculating them with diseases and then having them killed so he could dissect them.
Chapter 2, Exercise 10. Rewrite the following passages to make them sound better. If necessary, vary the length of the breath units so that some are at least twice as long as others. Eliminate awkward repetition of sounds. Change the sentence structure however you like, but include the essential content of the original. How do your revisions change the writer's voice?
1) Even in the 1950's we had the chemical capacity to make new chemicals and distribute
old chemicals like never before. We could put more of the chemical sulfur dioxide
which produces sulfuric acid and acid rain in the air than volcanoes do, at a great
cost to acid-
2) You know I was clueless until you clued me in
to your conclusions on how concussions can contribute to delusions.
3) While paroxysmal
trachycardia, or abnormal accelerated heartbeat, is rarely fatal, fatalities can
be expected if heartbeat accelerates to fatal levels.
Sample Answer
1) Even in the 1950’s we had the capacity to create and distribute old chemicals
like never before. For instance, we pumped more sulfur dioxide into the air than
volcanoes do, producing sulfuric acid and acid rain at a great cost to acid-
Chapter 2, Exercise 11. Rewrite the following passages to make them sound monotonous
or ugly. Monotony results from a series of breath units of roughly the same length,
usually 15-
1) I have learned
To look on nature, not as in the hour
Of thoughtless youth; but hearing often-
The still, sad music of humanity,
Nor harsh nor grating, though of ample power
To chasten and subdue.
Wordsworth, "Tintern Abbey"
2) Later that night I loosed my hair
from its braids and combed it smooth-
Annie Dillard,
3) I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt
on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.
Maya Angelou
Sample Answer
1) I have learned to regard nature hard, not as people do when they haven’t a clue,
but the way it seems when you think how short our time is here. Knowing how soon
we’re going makes me sorrowful and thoughtful.
Chapter 3. Exercise 2. Bracket deadwood in the following passages. Then write out the passages without the bracketed words and phrases. As you do so, try to find further ways to save words and make ideas more clear. Change the sentence structure however you like, but include all the major ideas of the original. How many words did you save? How do your revisions change the writer's voice?
1) Casinos bring with them the ability to lift poor towns out of poverty. They
create an economy. They give the people of these communities something to look forward
to. In many of these towns the economy is low, and no one works. When these casinos
come in they offer jobs to these people. Although most of these casinos pay only
minimum wage or slightly better, the steady employment they offer will transform
people's lives. Casinos want to help the communities in any way they can. 85 words
2) Those that feel that faith healing is faked are understandably infuriated by
what they consider to be swindlers. They do not seem to be affected with any long-
3) The story of Hamlet
and the murder of his father was not an especially well known tale to many people
during the Elizabethan Period, or the reign of Queen Elizabeth. Although the story
was available in one or two printed books to anyone who was able to read, cared to
read it, and had access to the books in question, it was not often adapted into plays,
narratives, or poems, or other popular forms of literature at the time. Moreover,
the story existed as a bare, undeveloped plot outline without elaboration in the
books in which it appeared, lacking the character development and complication, not
only of Hamlet but of the other characters who appear in the story, that it achieves
in Shakespeare's version. 124 words.
Sample Answer
1) Casinos lift poor towns by creating an economy and hope. They provide jobs, and,
though most pay only minimum wage, the steady employment they offer transforms lives.
Casinos help communities however they can. (33 words)
Chapter 3. Exercise 3. Rewrite the following passages, removing set phrases and verbal padding. Change the sentence structure if you like, but include all the major ideas of the original. How many words did you save? How do your revisions change the writer's voice?
1) Personally, I think Heath surely was one of the most if not the most outstanding
alpine climbers in the area of unprotected traverses.
2) The firm's first and foremost
future plan is to increase profits and lower dividends for the foreseeable future.
3) It is most interesting to note that the consensus of opinion was on the side
of doing nothing until such time as each and every ongoing project designed for the
purpose of evaluating environmental impact has taken into account all the evidence
and proved conclusively that our effluvia are maiming children at the present point
in time.
Sample Answer
1) Heath was an outstanding alpine climber for unprotected traverses. (Saves
fourteen words.)
Chapter 3, Exercise 4. Rewrite the following passages, adding the kinds of constructions you took out of the last group. Try to double the length of each passage. Change the sentence structure however you like, but include all the major ideas of the original. How many words did you add? How do your revisions change the writer's voice?
1) I want to celebrate the moment not long ago when, at his first dog show, my Airedale,
Drummer, learned that there can be a public place where his work is respected.
Viki
Hearne, "What's Wrong with Animal Rights?"
2) When people look at how hard they
would have to work to get rid of the calories in just one piece of pie a la mode
(running fast for an hour or sawing wood for 2), not to mention what it takes to
lose a pound (walking for 16 hours or swimming hard for 7), many sit down in self-
Jane Brody, Jane Brody's Good Food Book
3) Mami let go our hands and ran under the roof overhang, where water fell in a
thick stream. She gave each of us a turn at being massaged by the torrent, which
banged against our skinny bodies and bounced off in silver fans onto the ground.
Esmeralda Santiago, When I Was Puerto Rican
Sample Answer
1) As it happens, I want to personally celebrate the fact that at one moment not
long ago on the occasion of his first dog show, my Airedale, Drummer, learned in
no uncertain terms that there can be a public place, so to speak, where his work
in the area of obedience is respected by all and sundry. (Adds 26 words.)
Chapter 3, Exercise 5. Rewrite the following passages, removing unnecessary transitions, intensifiers, and qualifications. How do your revisions change the writer's voice?
1) We conclude, then, that lettuce, interestingly enough, is scandalously devoid
of nutrients, at least according to many studies.
2) Many observers have thought
that earthworms are vital to maintaining a healthy, fertile soil, as I have shown
earlier.
3) According to the others in the plane, it was side-
Sample Answer
1) Lettuce is devoid of nutrients.
Chapter 3, Exercise 6. Rewrite the following passages, adding unnecessary transitions, intensifiers, and qualifications. How do your revisions change the writer's voice?
1) We are all strong enough to bear the misfortunes of others.
La Rochefoucauld, Maximes
2) Easy writing's vile hard reading.
R.B. Sheridan, Clio's Protest
3) The mass of men lead lives of quiet
desperation.
Thoreau, Walden
Sample Answer
1) It would seem, then, in other words, we ourselves are all-
Chapter 3, Exercise 7. Rewrite the following passages, removing unnecessary set phrases, transitions, intensifiers, and qualifications. Eliminate any repeated information or overexplanation. Change the sentence structure if you like, but include all the major ideas of the original. How many words did you save? How do your revisions change the writer's voice?
1) For general readers:
In order to define a neutron star it is necessary to state
that it is a small star, but in spite of its small size it is very dense; in fact,
amazing as it may seem, most neutron stars are comparable to our sun in mass, or
gross weight. But although neutron stars are as heavy as our sun, however, it is
important to realize that they are much smaller. In other words, these dense stars
are only a few miles in radius, whereas the radius of the sun is about 700,000 miles.
2) For medical professionals:
SIDS or sudden infant death syndrome or crib death
accounts for a whopping 10% of all deaths of apparently well infants under one year
old, the second-
3) For
meteorologists:
Last Sunday's warm, rainy weather was perfect for staying in and
watching the NBA quarterfinals on TV until violent storms in the afternoon cut the
power off. Electrical workers were thankful for the bright cool weather Monday,
but then the low pressure front backed up, returning to the area, colliding with
the cool high pressure air, and generating another round of scary thunderstorms.
Wouldn't you know it? Blam! Out went the lights again!
Sample Answer
1) For general readers:
A neutron star is small but very dense. Most neutron stars
are comparable to our sun in mass, but only a few miles in radius, whereas the sun’s
radius is about 700,000 miles. (Saves sixty words.)
Chapter 3, Exercise 8. Rewrite the following passages, combining simple, repetitious constructions into a more coherent mix of sentence lengths and types. Include all the major ideas of the original. If you need help, refer to Chapters 8 and 11. How do your revisions change the writer's voice?
1) There is a shortage of entry-
2) The Patent Office
grants many patents, and some are on engineered genes, and many people think genetic
engineering is immoral. But biotechnology companies have large research and development
costs, and they can't recover these costs without patents to protect their profits,
and the seventeen-
3)
Tornadoes are measured on the Fujita-
Sample Answer
1) A shortage of entry-
Chapter 4, Exercise 4. Choose the most appropriate word in each case How would the wrong choice change the writer's voice?
1) Generating convincing computer images of fire has proven difficult compared to
constructing fractal images of trees and landscapes, which experts regard as [elementary/no
brainers].
2) Deer living near airplane runways are systematically [eliminated/offed]
by airport personnel.
3) [Vestiges/traces] of the all-
4) "Carlos," [expostulated/said] Darla, "You're [treading/stepping]
on my bunion."
5) Water, water, everywhere, nor any drop to [imbibe/drink].
Chapter 4, Exercise 5. Go through this passage choosing the more general terms in each case; then the more specific. Specific terms will be subsets of the general ones. How do your choices change the writer's voice?
Pneumatic [devices/tubes] are making a comeback. Once considered [old fashioned/obsolete]
these [expedients/devices] are now often the [technique/solution] of choice for [moving/transporting]
physical items [of use/needed] in health care and [business/industry], such as [body
fluids/blood or urine samples], [machine components/aircraft parts] and [hazardous/toxic]
materials. The [advanced/high tech] tubes used for these purposes have come a long
way from the [earlier/primitive] pneumatic systems once used to [transport/deliver]
[money/cash and change] in [businesses/department stores]. Those systems were considered
[remarkable/modern] in their day. They replaced [humans/young children] previously
[employed/exploited] for the job. Exercise Effective Words 8, p. 72. Go through
the following passage choosing the more learned terms in each case; then the more
commonplace. Experiment with a mix of both groups. How do your choices change the
writer's voice?
Chapter 4, Exercise 7. Rewrite the following passages with longer words, aiming for a syllable/word ratio of 2.8/1 or better. What do your revisions do to the writer's voice?
1) When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve
the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the
powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and
of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires
that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
2) Four
score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation,
conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war; testing whether that nation, or any other
nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield
of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting-
3) Time is but the stream I go a-
Thoreau,
Sample Answer
1) Occasionally in the Career of human contingencies, it becomes necessary for one nationality to disintegrate the political affiliations associating them with another, and assume among terrestrial potencies , a separate, equal situation to which the Statutes of Nature and of Nature’s Diety entitle them. Then an equitable awareness of the opinions of humanity requires some explanation of the circumstances requiring the separation. (2.5:1)
Chapter 4, Exercise 8. Go through the following passage choosing the more learned terms in each case; then the more commonplace. Experiment with a mix of both groups. How do your choices change the writer's voice?
A rare [problem/disorder] called [excessive overall hairiness/congenital generalized hypertrichosis] appears to be [linked/attributable] to a [throwback gene/avatistic mutation]. People [with/experiencing] this condition are [really hairy/remarkably hirsute], with [thick fur/impenetrable hisipity] everywhere except the palms of their hands and [bottoms/soles] of their feet. These [poor people/unfortunate individuals] may be [behind/responsible for] widespread legends concerning werewolves.
Chapter 4, Exercise 9. Reverse the emotional charge of the following passages by supplying language with connotations opposite to those of the italicized words: for example saunter (positive) might become trudge (negative). You may have to change meanings slightly on occasion. Then supply another set of language choices (like walk) that are neutral. What do these changes do to the writer's voice?
1) Marvin's autocratic boss terrorizes the office staff, inflexibly insisting that
everything be done a certain way. She's fanatical about deadlines. She's absurdly
demanding about quality work. She browbeats everyone to live up to her finicky requirements
and then whines that they haven't succeeded.
2) The Justice Department investigation
exonerated any government peacekeepers of wrongdoing in the Branch Davidian enforcement
event at Waco.
3) Ignoring the evidence of Kanzi, a pygmy chimpanzee who uses over
fifty symbols and syntactical rules to compose sentences, many linguists pigheadedly
refuse to admit that some animals can master language.
Sample Answer
1) Marvin's decisive supervisor energizes the office staff, consistently maintaining
that things be done the right way. She's firm about deadlines. She insists on quality
work. She inspires everyone to live up to her elevated standards and lets them know
at once when they haven't.
Chapter 5, Exercise 1. Rewrite following sentences with fresher language. If you feel adventurous, replace clichés based on comparisons ("the ball's in your court") with original comparisons of your own ("the snake's under your chair" "dig your own peanuts"?)
1) Latisha is just a true believer caught in a web of circumstances.
2) I worked
like a dog only to get cut off at the knees when the chips were down.
3) Her Yankee
ingenuity was too little too late to stem the tide.
4) Francesca was walking tall
on the fast track when the unthinkable happened.
5) They beat the drum for a broad
array of software solutions.
6) It is worth noting that venturing off the beaten
path can lead to untold riches and leave you on top of the world.
7) My natural inclination
is to take a pot shot at any rotten apple who crosses my path!
8) With a sheepish
grin the old fox made a play for the rank and file behind my back.
9) The method
in her madness militates against a premature conclusion.
10) With a murmur of approval
the many-
Sample answers
1) Latisha is just an earnest believer caught in a bad situation.
2) I worked like
flywheel but was disappointed at last.
3) Her clever plan came too late to succeed.
Chapter 5, Exercise 2. Pick the best usage choice in each of the following cases. For doubtful cases, consult Appendix A at the back of the book.
1) Except for fitful bouts of guilt, the students here are (all together, altogether)
(immoral, amoral).
2) (Every day, Ever day, every day) a person should oblige someone
(who, whom) asks for help.
3) Jill and (myself, me, I) went several miles (farther,
further).
4) (A lot, Alot) of (your, you're) energy is spent on keeping warm.
5)
Between you and (I, me) (whomever, whoever) comes (shall, will) be welcome.
6) You'll
regret missing this opportunity when (it's, its) (past, passed).
7) I agreed to pay
only for your food, room, (cloths, clothes) (etc., and etc.).
8) What kind of (complement,
compliment) is it to tell me I'm just (all right, alright)?
9) (Between, Among) the
two of us, I'd like to (lay, lie) down for an hour or so.
10) Mother is under the
(allusion, illusion) her (capital, capitol) is safe in the bank.
Chapter 5, Exercise 3. Build a paragraph of your own around two quotations from each of the following passages. Be careful to identify the source clearly and smoothly integrate the quoted material into the grammar of your sentences.
1) Where we need protection [from lightning] is overhead, not on the ground. Closed
vehicles act as Faraday cages—named after Michael Faraday, the nineteenth-
Jill Frayne, “Struck by Lightning”
2) But canine fabrication is not a new idea. There weren’t any trendy “designer”
hybrids like puggles or schnoodles on Noah’s ark, nor even any certified purebreds
like Boston terriers or French bulldogs. As their not-
Greg Beato, “Man’s Best Friend Forever”
3) In January 1991, Gina Grant pleaded no contest to her mother's killing. She served
approximately eight months in detention. Three years later, in the fall of 1994,
she applied for admission to next September's freshman class at Harvard. Nearly
eighteen thousand students applied for places in the Harvard Class of 1999, and just
over two thousand were admitted. Gina Grant was one of them. It was a remarkable
turn-
Jane
Mayer "Rejecting Gina"
Sample Answer
1) As Jill Frayne explains in her article “Struck by Lightning,” enclosed cars are relatively safe places to be in a lightning storm. Their metal roofs allow them to act as “Faraday cages,” that catch the strike and channel it into the ground. Lightning is drawn to the tallest isolated object available, so farmers (generally unprotected by metal roofs) “are vulnerable because of where they are when they’re out in their fields—the tallest object in an open space, plowing or haying as the summer day heats up.”
Chapter 5, Exercise 5. Identify figures of speech in the following passages. There are only one or two per passage, probably as many as most writers would want. Remember that not all comparisons or details are figurative, only those that require you to use your imagination to get past their initial lack of logic. Rewrite each passage without the figurative language. How does this change the writer's voice?
1) The clouds were low enough that I couldn't see the lip of the canyon, only where
the red cliffs, now more of an antique rust color, dissolved. The rocks were wet
and shiny, with rainwater running over them, sometimes in flat sheets, sometimes
in little eroding streams that you could somehow hear above the noise of the rain
and the river. The stream itself made the usual slurping sound of current with overtones
of the rain sizzling on its surface. Now and then a rock would come loose and fall
with a clacking sound. All this had the effect of silence.
John
Gierach, Sex, Death and Flyfishing
2) A staggering seventy-
Helen
E. Fisher,
3) Over the continent, the ice had spread southward about
as evenly as spilled milk, and there is a great irregularity in its line of maximum
advance. South of Buffalo, it failed to reach Pennsylvania, but it plunged deep
into Ohio, Indiana, Illinois. The ice sheets set up and started Niagara Falls.
They moved the Ohio River. They dug the Great Lakes.
John
McPhee, In Suspect Terrain
Sample Answer
1 ) The clouds were low enough that I couldn't see the top of the canyon, only where
the red cliffs, now more of an antique rust color, disappeared. The rocks were wet
and shiny, with rainwater running over them, sometimes flatly, sometimes in little
eroding streams that you could somehow hear above the noise of the rain and the river.
The stream itself made the usual current sounds with the noise of the rain falling
on its surface. Now and then a rock would come loose and fall with a clacking sound.
All this had the effect of silence.
Chapter 6, Exercise 1. Underline the complete subjects once and the simple subjects twice in the following sentences. Prepositional phrases may appear in the complete subject, but they will not be part of the simple subject.
1. The distracting sound of heavy machinery echoed through the building.
2. The
soft center of a guava tastes a bit like a strawberry.
3. Plumage is highly variable
in this polymorphic species.
4. A false start of a garden has yielded a few pale
tomato plants dwarfed in a grove of weeds before the house.
5. A long hog house
whose cement block walls have cracked sits off at the east end of the yard.
6.
Time is but the stream I go a-
7. A chance reader, unsubsidized and
unbribed, will dig them up.
8. Home plate don’t move.
Satchel Paige
Sample Answers
1. The distracting sound of heavy machinery echoed through the building.
2. The
soft center of a guava tastes a bit like a strawberry.
3. Plumage is highly variable
in this polymorphic species.
Chapter 6, Exercise 2. Underline the complete subjects once and the simple subjects
twice in the following sentences. Add “you-
1) There should be a final decision on the Patterson proposal tomorrow morning.
2) After pruning, rake up and burn the clippings.
3) Even at the polls on election day many voters had not made their final choices.
4) Dented and encrusted with marine growth, the gold cup weighed over a pound.
5) According to an agency official who spoke at the meeting, the FTC has started
investigations into deceptive advertising or marketing of genetic tests.
6) At
the meeting of the East and the Hudson rivers, there is an underwater canyon, left
over from the runoff of the Continental Glacier.
7) There seems to be a good deal
of research on the ineffectiveness of much educational computer programming.
8) According
to brokerage surveys cited in National Real Estate Investor, the average office space
per worker in the United States dropped from 250 square feet in 2000 to 190 square
feet in 2005.
Sample Answers
1) There should be a final decision on the Patterson proposal tomorrow morning.
2) After pruning, [you] rake up and burn the clippings.
3) Even at the polls on election day many voters had not made their final choices.
Chapter 6, Exercise 3. Underline the complete subjects and highlight the simple subjects in the following sentences. Each sentence contains more than one clause. Look for subject and verb combinations. Each set you find signals a new clause. If you get confused, try crossing out prepositional phrases.
1. Liberty doesn’t work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
Will Rogers
2. When I was born, I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
Gracie Allen
3. The first principle is that you must not fool yourself.
Richard Feynman
4. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
5. People always call it luck when you’ve acted more sensibly than they have.
Anne Tyler
6. If your mother gives you away, you think everybody who comes into your life is going to give you away.
Eartha Kitt
7. This is a night when kings in golden mail ride their elephants over the mountains.
John Cheever
8. I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.
Mario Puzo
Sample Answers
1. Liberty doesn’t work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
2. When I was born, I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
3. The first principle is that you must not fool yourself.
Chapter 6, Exercise 4. Underline the complete subjects and highlight the simple subjects in the following sentences. Each sentence contains more than one clause. Look for subject and verb combinations. Each set you find signals a new clause. Be ready to say whether the clauses you find are dependent or independent.
1. When you are logged in to your meeting room and an attendee uses the URL to access
it, you are notified immediately.
2. Because its “recipe” of 25 main and trace elements
vary, pumice, which was widely used as an abrasive in ancient cultures, can usually
be linked to a specific volcanic eruption.
3. Whether you think you can or you think
you can’t, you’re right.
Henry Ford
4. Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.
Martin
Luther King, Jr.
5. The Wall Street Journal reports that Google’s first android release
has been pushed back to 2008—but the article fails to mention that this is what Google
has been saying all along.
6. Because the average person walks thousands of miles
in a lifetime, the 26 bones, 33 joints and 100-
7. The good we secure for ourselves is
precarious and uncertain until it is secured for all of us and incorporated into
our common life
Jane Addams
8. We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief
requirements of life, when all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic
about.
Albert Einstein
Sample Answers
1. When you are logged in to your meeting room [dependent] and an attendee uses the
URL to access it [dependent], you are notified immediately [independent].
2. Because
its “recipe” of 25 main and trace elements vary [dependent], pumice, which was widely
used as an abrasive in ancient cultures [dependent], can usually be linked to a specific
volcanic eruption [independent-
3. Even though
Chapter 6, Exercise 5. Put a slash between the complete subjects and predicates in the following sentences. The sentences may contain more than one clause. Look for subject and verb combinations. Each set you find signals a new clause.
1) I wonder if other dogs think poodles belong to some weird religious cult.
Rita Rudner
2) Wireless USB looked like a good bet at first, but the technology never caught on.
3) When the Phoenix Mars Lander became unable to recharge its batteries, it had to be reprogrammed every day because it lost its memory each night.
4) While capitalism is the exploitation of man by man, communism is the exact opposite.
Ben Lewis
5) Root cellars could keep potatoes and winter squash from harvest to February or March and onions even longer.
6) Since insurance rarely covers cosmetic surgery, doctors often offer two-
7) I like to fly on an airline right after they’ve had a crash because it improves your odds.
George Carlin
8) She said he swept her off her feet, but then he wouldn’t help her up again.
Sample Answers
1) I / wonder if other dogs / think poodles / belong to some weird religious cult.
2) Wireless USB / looked like a good bet at first, but the technology / never caught on.
3) When the Phoenix Mars Lander/ became unable to recharge its batteries, it / had to be reprogrammed every day because it / lost its memory each night.
Chapter 6, Exercise 6. Put a slash between the complete subjects and predicates in the following sentences. Highlight the simple subjects and verb. The sentences may contain more than one clause, and clauses may contain more than one subject or verb.
1) Homer held the rooster by its feet as it flapped wildly and craned its neck, trying
to peck him.
2) My cousin Lela is by far the prettiest, but Martha and Corinne are
more athletic.
3) Because of the letter I wrote, the mayor made me grounds supervisor.
4) I come from Des Moines; somebody had to.
Bill Bryson
5) The coffee there always tastes stale, and I swear they microwave their fried eggs.
6) My sister works out every day after she comes in from school.
7) I bowed deeply
and handed my mother the DVD she was so eager to watch.
8) The Romans massed in the
Forum near the Tiber while their enemies held the heights.
Sample Answers
1) Homer / held the rooster by its feet as it / flapped wildly and craned its neck,
trying to peck him.
2) My cousin Lela / is by far the prettiest, but Martha and Corinne
/ are more athletic.
3) Because of the letter I / wrote, the mayor / made me grounds
supervisor.
Chapter 7, Exercise 1. Highlight the subjects and verbs in the following passages. Which of each pair of passages has a more definite cast of actors? What effect do the differences have on the writer's voice?
1) As Selma, Alabama's first black school superintendent, [Dr. Norward Rousell] couldn't
help but notice that "gifted and talented" tracks were nearly lily white in a district
that was 70 percent black. When he looked for answers in the files of high school
students, he discovered that a surprising number of low track minority kids had actually
scored higher than their white top track counterparts.
Patricia
Kean, "Blowing up the Tracks"
Observation by Selma, Alabama's newly establish black
school leadership established that "gifted and talented" tracks were nearly lily
white in a district that was 70 percent black. Investigation of files of high school
students showed that a surprising number of scores for low track minority kids were
actually higher than those of their white top track counterparts.
2) At 15,000 feet,
its best operating height, the Kittyhawk IA could fly at a maximum speed of only
354 mph and climb to that height in 8.3 minutes, a longer time than the AGM2 Zero
took to reach 20,000 feet.
John
Vader, "Pacific Hawk"
Maximum speed of the Kittyhawk IA at 15,000 feet, its best
operating height, was only 354 mph. Climb rate to that altitude was 8.3 minutes.
Climb rate for the AGM2 Zero to 20,000 feet was shorter than this.
3) Mario Livio,
of the Space Telescope Science Institute in Baltimore, was reviewing what he called
"observational evidence of the actual existence of black holes in the sky." He displayed
a Hubble image of the center of the galaxy NGC 4261. It showed a glowing doughnut
of gas and dust with a hellish-
Timothy
Ferris, "Minds and Matter"
A review of "observational evidence of the actual existence
of black holes in the sky" was being conducted by Mario Livio, of the Space Telescope
Science Institute in Baltimore. A display associated with this review pictured a
Hubble image of the center of the galaxy NGC 4261. Shown in this display was a glowing
doughnut of gas and dust with a hellish-
Sample Answer
1) As Selma, Alabama’s first black school superintendent, [Dr. Norward Rousell] couldn’t help but notice that “gifted and talented” tracks were nearly lily white in a district that was 70 percent black. When he looked for answers in the files of high school students, he discovered that a surprising number of low track minority kids had actually scored higher than their white top track counterparts.
Observation by Selma, Alabama’s newly establish black school leadership established that “gifted and talented” tracks were nearly lily white in a district that was 70 percent black. Investigation of files of high school students showed that a surprising number of scores for low track minority kids were actually higher than those of their white top track counterparts.
Chapter 7, Exercise 2. Replace nominalizations in the following sentences with actors and actions. Change the sentence structure however you like, but include all the major ideas of the original. How do your revisions change the writer's voice?
1) The coroner's determination that the victim died of smoke inhalation was the
key to the jury's decision in favor of the defendant's conviction.
2) Mozart's reaction
to Haydn's innovations in the construction of string quartets was a reevaluation
and amendment of his own practices.
3) The company's performance in the third quarter is expected to show improvement following the curtailment of its customer base erosion.
Sample Answer
1) The coroner’s finding that the victim had been suffocated by smoke led the jury to convict the defendant. (More forceful and direct.)
Chapter 7, Exercise 3. Locate the to be verbs in the following passages. Rewrite to replace every second occurrence with a more expressive verb. How do your revisions change the writer's voice?
1) Maple is a dense wood that is light-
2) The presumed ugliness that makes women buy makeup and push-
Based
on Dean MacCannell and Juliet Flower MacCannell,
"The Beauty System"
3) According to cosmologists, the estimated age of the universe is between 10 and
20 billion years, and its major component is dark matter, which is transparent because
it is incapable of reflecting light and is not known to cast a shadow.
Sample Answer
1) A dense, light-
Chapter 7, Exercise 4. Locate weak verbs and waffling auxiliaries in the following sentences, and replace them with more expressive choices. How do your revisions change the writer's voice?
1) To assist with historical research, America Online has established a database
which should provide information on the 59,196 men and women whose names are exhibited
on the Vietnam Veteran's Memorial in Washington, D.C.
2) Critics acknowledge that
Piet Mondrian's tree pictures, completed around 1908, might have contributed to the
artist's development by transforming his style.
3) A female reticulated python at
the National Zoo had developed a length of 25 feet and a weight of 300 pounds when
last exhibited; the reptile employed a hundred teeth in six rows to help hold prey
for ingestion.
Sample Answer
1) To assist with historical research, America Online has established a database identifying the 59,196 men and women named on the Vietnam Veteran’s Memorial in Washington, D.C. (Saves words, less waffling.)
Chapter 7, Exercise 5. Make the italicized active verbs in the following sentences passive. Under what circumstances, if any, would the passive versions work better than the originals?
1) Some genetically altered potatoes manufacture a natural toxin capable of killing
Colorado Potato Beetles, the number one potato pest.
2) Music publishers should
bind music books so that they will stay open on a stand.
3) When Hans Kung criticized
papal authority, the Catholic Church stripped Kung of his right to teach as a Catholic
theologian.
4) When Hans Kung criticized papal authority, the Catholic Church stripped
Kung of his right to teach as a Catholic theologian.
5) Pomologists continually
develop new varieties of apples.
Sample Answer
1) A natural toxin is manufactured by genetically altered potatoes that is capable of killing Colorado Potato Beetles. (This would work well in a passage focused on poisons rather than potatoes or beetles.)
Chapter 7, Exercise 6. Make the italicized passive verbs in the following sentences active. Under what circumstances, if any, would the passive versions work better than the originals?
1) While mistakes were made by the trust department, criminal intent has not been
demonstrated.
2) In general the highest economic rewards are reserved for services
society regards most highly.
3) In general society reserves the highest economic
rewards for services which are regarded most highly.
4) It is widely thought that
many animal habitats are threatened by logging.
5) The timetable for the evolution
of today's birds has recently been shortened by millions of years by paleontologists.
Sample Answer
1) While the trust department made mistakes, none of them demonstrate criminal intent. (Sounds more forthright than the passive version.)
Chapter 7, Exercise 7. Rewrite the following sentences to bring subjects, verbs, objects, and complements back together. Reposition interrupting material at the beginning or end of the sentence or recast it as an independent sentence or sentences. What effect do your revisions have on the writer's voice?
1) A low power holographic radar scanner that can image a body beneath clothes with
enough accuracy to spot non-
2) Barbed bone fish-
3) Four mile long Hampton Roads, the sheltered
estuary through which three rivers empty into Chesapeake Bay and an uncommonly fine
natural harbor, accommodates the largest naval complex in the world.
Sample Answer
1) In spite of the risks it poses to personal modesty, a low power holographic
radar scanner may be used at security-
Chapter 8, Exercise 1. Rewrite the following passages so that each sentence has a word or concept mentioned in the opening sentence for its subject. Pronoun subjects that refer to a word in the first sentence will be fine If you need help with the rewriting, read ahead in Chapter 11. How do your revisions affect the coherence of each passage?
1) Logical positivists formed a school of modern philosophy led by the Vienna Circle
of the 1920s. Mathematical precision was their model for philosophical thinking.
Moral and value statements they considered nonsensical. Analysis of language rather
than things provided their mode of operation.
2) Antarctica is home to a strange
body of fresh water. Researchers there have found an unfrozen cache of fresh water
the size of Lake Ontario. The Russian base Vostok is directly over the lake, which
is trapped under 2 ½ miles of ice. Measurements show the lake is 124 miles long
and averages 400 feet deep. Scientists believe it may harbor ancient life forms
but are reluctant to try to tap the water. Contamination is one problem they fear.
The tremendous pressure caused by the lake's icy overburden is another.
3. Longer
wash cycles are a feature of front loading washing machines. But front loaders are
still more efficient than toploaders. Comparisons of energy use reveal that. You
save on water and detergent as well. Cleaning, though, is the bottom line. The newer
model toploaders are poorly rated for cleaning. Government regulations have reduced
the amount of energy they consume, lessening their performance. “Agitation,” which
toploaders use, is also less effective than tumbling. And front loaders are easier
on your clothes.
Sample Answer
1) Logical positivists formed a school of modern philosophy led by the Vienna Circle of the 1920s. These philosophers modeled their thought on mathematical precision, considering moral and value statements nonsensical. They analyzed language rather than things.
Chapter 8, Exercise 2. Rewrite the following passages so that each sentence (boldface)
has a new word or concept for its subject. One way to do this is to select a new
subject from the words and ideas in second part of the sentence. For instance, "Bald
eagles build king-
1) Roman artists often used "clarifying perspective" in inventive ways. A muralist
from Pompeii painted a riot in an amphitheater to show events taking place inside
and outside the arena at the same time. Another painter showed the beginning and
end of the fall of Icarus at the top and bottom of the same picture. The artist
of the famous Nile Mosaic presented the whole course of the river from the Sudan
to the delta in four contiguous panels, one on top of the other within the same frame.
2) Saint Laurence has long been the most popular of the Roman martyrs. According
to traditional stories, when he was commanded by the prefect Valerian to hand over
church treasures to the state by a certain day, he sold the treasures instead and
gave the money to poor Christians. Called to account for this, Laurence presented
the poor people he had helped to Valerian. "These," he proclaimed, "are the treasures
of the church!"
3) People who scraped a living in forests and on untilled common
lands long nourished democratic sentiments in England. Forest outlaws became egalitarian
heros in the Robin Hood stories, and poor tradespeople and outcasts with no place
in towns or on established estates provided support for various movements of social
unrest. These groups made up a significant population. According to the seventeenth
century commentator Richard Baxter, "the woods and commons are planted with nailers,
scythe-
Based
on Christopher Hill,
The World Turned Upside Down.
Sample Answer
1) “Clarifying perspective” was often used by Roman artists in inventive ways. A riot in an amphitheater was painted by a muralist from Pompeii to show events taking place inside and outside the arena at the same time. Another picture shows the beginning and end of the fall of Icarus at the top and bottom of the same composition. The whole course of Nile from the Sudan to the delta was depicted by another artist in four contiguous panels, one on top of the other within the same frame.
Chapter 8, Exercise 3. Examine the following passages for coherence problems caused by too great a gap between the subject of a new sentence and the known material that has gone before. Rewrite the passages to close the gaps. Rearrange the sentences if you want to, but make sure your revision contains all the ideas of the original.
1) The natives of Benin in Africa created superb bronze plaques. Armor, guns, feathered
hats, and dogs are beautifully rendered in their portraits of Portuguese explorers
in the region. Ancient Greece and Rome never produced better metalwork than these
plaques. Through a process of independent discovery these isolated natives must
have learned the lost wax technique of casting bronze and brought it to near perfection
on their own.
Based on Sanche de Gramont, The Strong Brown God
2) Somehow
English archers at Agincourt must have been given a signal to "fire" simultaneously.
The distance between them and the French had to be conveyed somehow also. Their
targets would have been invisible to archers standing behind the first ranks. After
rising over one hundred feet in the air, their arrows fell at a steep angle on the
enemy troops 250 yards away. Steel armor with cleverly designed glancing surfaces
insured that not many of the French troops were injured.
Based
on John Keegan, The Face of Battle
3) On one side of Mount Rainer a scooped-
Based on Jon Krakauer, "Geologists Worry About
Dangers of Living 'Under the Volcano.'"
Sample Answer
1) The natives of Benin in Africa created superb bronze plaques, rendering the armor, guns, feathered hats, and dogs of Portuguese explorers in a manner rivaling the metalwork of ancient Greece and Rome. These isolated natives learned the lost wax technique of casting bronze and brought it to near perfection on their own.
Chapter 8, Exercise 4. Add transitional devices to guide readers through the following
passages. Supply connections only where you think they're really needed and try
to include several classes of transitions-
1) Utopias always aim to present a society without tensions. Everyone knows his
or her place. No one wants major changes. A utopian society is stable. Stability
can be a problem. A society in which everyone is happy may not be able to develop.
Ant hills and beehives are stable. Worker ants and bees are not models for people
to follow.
2) Huxley had no automatic reason to reject personal immortality. The
conservation of force contradicted appearances. The indestructibility of matter
seemed unlikely on the face of it. He accepted those beliefs. Scientific evidence
made him accept them. He had no evidence souls were immortal. He refused to believe
it. The death of his son did not cause him to change his mind.
3) Surgical operations
in which the patients' body temperature was kept normal produced half as many post-
Sample Answer
1) Utopias always aim to present a society without tensions, one in which everyone knows his or her place and no one wants major changes. But the very stability utopians seek can be a problem itself. Like ant hills and beehives, a society in which everyone is happy may not never develop. are stable. Worker ants and bees are not models for people to follow.
Chapter 8, Exercise 5. Identify structural parallels that promote coherence in each of the following passages. Would it improve the passages to add transitional words, phrases, and clauses as well?
1) It’s sometimes argued that there’s no real progress; that a civilization that kills multitudes in mass warfare, that pollutes the land and oceans with ever larger quantities of debris, that destroys the dignity of individuals by subjecting them to a forced mechanized existence, can hardly be called an advance over prehistoric times.
Robert Pirzig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
2) So the question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be. Will we be extremists for hate or love? Will we be extremists for the preservation of injustice or the extension of justice?
Martin Luther King, Jr., Letter from a Birmingham Jail
3) At thirteen, in a Dominican convent, [Georgia O’Keeffe] was mortified when the sister corrected her drawing. At Chatham Episcopal Institute in Virginia, she painted lilacs and sneaked time alone to walk out to where she could see the line of the Blue Ridge Mountains on the horizon. At the Art Institute in Chicago she was shocked by the presence of live models and wanted to abandon anatomy lessons.
Joan Didion, The White Album
Sample Answer
1) It’s sometimes argued THAT there’s no real progress; THAT a civilization that kills multitudes in mass warfare, that pollutes the land and oceans with ever larger quantities of debris, that destroys the dignity of individuals by subjecting them to a forced mechanized existence can hardly be called an advance over prehistoric times. (Two sets of that clauses, the first to say what is sometimes argued, the second to tell what civilization has done.)
Chapter 8, Exercise 6. Combine these ideas using parallel structures For an overview of possible methods, consult "Vary Sentence Structure with Parallel Constructions" in Chapter 11.
1) The last glacial period had a great effect on today's vegetation. Topsoil was
scoured from some areas. Only certain plants can live there now. It deposited soil
elsewhere. New drainage patterns were created. It created new lakes.
2) In Europe
east-
3) North America has a greater diversity of trees than
Europe. A similar number of cold-
Sample Answer
1) The last glacial period deposited topsoil in some areas and scoured it from some areas so that only certain plants can live there now. It created new drainage patterns and blocked and filled new lakes.
Chapter 8, Exercise 7. Use subordinating techniques like those explained in Chapter 11 to connect the following groups of ideas. Do certain groups or ideas lend themselves more to this subordinating approach than others? Why?
1) Alexander the Great loved his horse Bucephalus. Bull-
2) The largest of the ancient flying reptiles was Quetzalcoatlus. Its body
was nearly twenty feet long. Forty feet was the measurement of its wing span. It
may have lived in colonies like some modern seabirds. Fish were almost certainly
its diet. On the ground, it may have humped along on legs and wings like a prodigious
bat.
3) Vermeer clearly worked mostly in the same studio with the same props. A
yellow satin jacket appears in six of his paintings. It has ermine trim. An identifiable
Turkish carpet figures in nine pictures. The same wooden chairs can be seen in eleven.
Carved lion heads decorate these chairs.
Sample Answer
1) Alexander the Great loved his horse Bucephalus (“ox-
Chapter 9, Exercise 1. Mark the nucleus in each of the following sentences. Then restructure the sentences using the principle of end focus to emphasize the specified words. Change the sentence structure however you like to reposition the chosen word to the end of its sentence, where it will receive an extra degree of stress. For instance, "Electric guitars convert sonic vibrations into electrical IMpulses" could be rewritten to emphasize guitars or vibrations": "Sonic vibrations are converted into electrical impulses by electric guiTARS"; "Electric guitars create electrical impulses from sonic viBRAtions." Under what circumstances would each of the restructured versions you write work better than the original?
1) Northern New Mexico is swarming with crafts persons and ARTists.
Restructure to emphasize CRAFTS PERSONS.
Restructure to emphasize Northern New
MEXico.
2) Huge landfills generate large amounts of methane GAS.
Restructure to emphasize LANDfills.
Restructure to emphasize aMOUNTS.
3) In my neighborhood everyone has a backyard GRILL.
Restructure to emphasize backYARD.
Restructure to emphasize NEIGHborhood.
Sample Answer
1) Northern New Mexico is swarming with artists and CRAFTSpersons.
(You want to emphasize the crafts side of things.)
Artists and craftspersons
swarm all over Northern New MEXico.
(You’re writing about places with active arts scenes.)
Chapter 9, Exercise 2. Restructure the following sentences so that the nuclear stress falls on a word appropriate for the circumstances. Change the sentence structure however you like. How do the revisions affect the writer's voice?
1) Believe me, Mr. Korn, I offer my deepest sympathy on the death of your little
dog LUCKy.
Restructure to highlight SYMpathy
2) It is outrageous
for you to charge $75 for simply resetting a CIRcuit breaker.
Restructure
to highlight outRAgeous
3) Nine stitches could be saved by one that comes in TIME.
Restructure to highlight NINE
Sample Answer
1) Believe me, Mr. Korn, the death of your little dog Lucky moves my deepest SYMpathy.
Chapter 9, Exercise 3. Bring the following sentences to a more effective end by eliminating or moving anticlimactic phrases. Make the sentence nucleus in your revised versions fall on the word indicated.
1) Plastic surgeons are using leeches to encourage blood circulation in reattached
body parts according to published NEWS stories. LEECHES
2) Kudzu lacks environmental
checks in this country so it spreads over everything, covering structures and other
plants with a dense mass of VINES. CHECKS
3) The cost of foods is soaring out of
sight, except for eggs, which have remained a bargain for YEARS. SIGHT
Sample Answer
1) According to published news stories, plastic surgeons are encouraging blood to circulate in reattached body parts by attaching LEECHES.
Chapter 9, Exercise 4. Combine the each set of simple sentences into a longer sentence with parenthetical elements, coordinate series, dependent clauses, and/or introductory or concluding phrases. Mark each pause and nucleus in the new sentences you create. Look for more on combining sentences in Chapter 11.
1) The first mausoleum was a white marble tomb.
It was built for King Mausolus.
He lived at Halicarnassus.
Halicarnassus was a town in Asia Minor.
2) Duluth
is on the western end of Lake Superior.
It is the Great Lakes' second-
It ships grain.
It ships iron ore.
It ships machinery.
It ships other cargo
all over the world.
3) Porcupines are rodents.
They have quills.
The quills
are actually modified hairs.
The quills have barbs.
The quills are loosely attached.
The quills can be erected.
Porcupines weigh up to 60 pounds.
Sample Answer
1) The first mausoleum was a white marble tomb built for King Mausolus of Halicarnassus
in Asia Minor.
Chapter 9, Exercise 5. Mark sentence and breath unit nuclei in the following sentences. Do the words stressed reinforce what the writers are saying? How?
1) Despite all the marvelous things that computers can do today, they simply lack
many of the qualities that are present in human intelligence-
Gina
Kolata, "How Can Computers Get Common Sense"
2) That night in my rented room, while
letting the hot water run over my can of pork and beans in the sink, I opened
Richard
Wright, Black Boy
3) Jordan's first game in Chicago came five days later, against
the Orlando Magic, a first-
David Remnick, “Back in Play”
Sample Answer
1) Despite all the marvelous things that computers can do toDAY, they simply lack many of the qualities that are present in human inTELLigence—they don’t even have common SENSE. (Kolata emphasizes the timeliness of her point and its focus on mental abilities.)
Chapter 9, Exercise 6. Rewrite the following passages so that the words receiving nuclear stress are more closely related to each other and to the writer's main idea. Keep the number of sentences the same, but restructure using the principle of end focus to emphasize the specified words. How do your changes affect the writer's voice?
1) That words are just symbols is well known to the WISE. Changing the name of
something doesn't make them react VIolently. The underlying thing remains the same,
and they KNOW that. The only people taken in by name-
Restructure to emphasize SYMbols, NAME, SAME, and NAME-
2) An eco-
Restructure to emphasize ECo-
3) Conservatives praise decentralized welfare programs
for turning over control to the STATES. But there's only a degree of decentralization
in THAT. Why not directly mail recipients their PAYments? a real breakthrough in
decentralization could be achieved THAT way.
Restructure to emphasize
STATES, decentraliZAtion, diRECTly, and decentraliZAtion.
Sample Answer
1) The wise know words are just SYMbols. They don’t react violently to changing NAMES.
They know the underlying thing remains the SAME. Only fools are taken in by NAME-
Chapter 9, Exercise 7. Transform these sentences so that the emphasis falls on a new word or concept.
1) Salt provides extra surfaces for gas to collect on and form bubbles so that beer foams vigorously when salted peanuts are added.
It transformation to emphasize salt
It transformation to emphasize gas
What transformation to emphasize extra surfaces
2) Twain castigated Cooper for sloppy writing.
Passive transformation to emphasize Twain
What transformation to emphasize sloppy
writing
It transformation to emphasize Cooper
3) New therapies offer some relief from the symptoms of Parkinson's Disease.
There transformation to emphasize therapies
What transformation to emphasize
symptoms
Passive transformation to emphasize therapies
Sample Answer
1) It is the salt that provides extra surfaces for gas to collect on and form bubbles
so that beer foams vigorously when salted peanuts are added.
It is the gas that
collects on the extra surfaces of the salt, forming bubbles, that makes beer foam
so vigorously when salted peanuts are added.
What causes beer to foam so vigorously
when salted peanuts are added are the extra surfaces provide by the salt. Gas forms
on these to produce bubbles.
Chapter 9, Exercise 8. Add grammatical bulk for emphasis in the following sentences. Write two new versions of each sentence: one with a moderate and acceptable amount of emphasis, and one where the added emphasis is excessive.
1) A company offers to dry a sample of your DNA and store it indefinitely in a glass capsule.
[Emphasize company. The company is in Seattle, it's called Third Millennium Research,
Inc., it's a recent start-
2) An engineering student pointed out that the Citi-
[Emphasize Citi-
3) A good handbag suits your body shape.
[Handbags should contrast with your body shape. If you are tall and thin, you should get a round, puffy handbag. If you are round yourself, get a square or rectangular one. Look at yourself wearing the bag in a mirror. If you are little, don’t get a big bag. If you are tall, don’t get a small one.]
Sample Answer
1) A Seattle company called Third Millennium Research, the brainchild of microbiologist
Dr. James Bicknell, offers to dry a sample of your DNA and store it indefinitely
in a glass capsule. It is a new company, but so far there are few takers.
Third Millennium
Research, a company recently started in Seattle under the inspiration of microbiologist
Dr. James Bickness and an operation with few takers so far, offers to dry a sample
of your DNA and store it indefinitely in a glass capsule.
Chapter 10, Exercise 1. Rewrite the following sentences with two extreme stylistic combinations: short breath units with short words and long breath units with long words. What effect do your revisions have on the writer's voice? Next try a mixture of long and short breath units and words. Is that better?
1) Chaos seems to be everywhere. A rising column of cigarette smoke breaks into
wild swirls. A flag snaps back and forth in the wind.
James
Gleick, Chaos
2) At a meeting run by black women domestics who had formed a job
cooperative in Alabama, a white housewife asked me about the consciousness-
Gloria
Steinem, "Sisterhood"
3) It is a characteristic irony that while the learning of
languages can be an expensive business, nearly all those people in the world who
grow up bilingual do so because their mother tongue or dialect has associations with
poverty which make it likely to be thought inappropriate for education and some kinds
of employment.
Jane Miller, "How Do You Spell
Sample Answer
A. Chaos is everywhere. Think of cigarette smoke. It breaks in wild swirls. A flag
snaps in the wind.
B. Unmistakable examples and evidence of chaos are everywhere
in evidence it seems. Consider a rising column of cigarette smoke writhing in twisting,
untamed swirls or a banner snapping and flapping under the pressure of the wind.
C. Chaos is everywhere. Think of cigarette smoke twisting in wild swirls or a flag
snapping in the wind.
Chapter 10, Exercise 2. Use any combination of the sentence structures illustrated above to vary the rhythms of this passage. Combine sentences to add pauses between, after, and within independent clauses. What effect do your changes have on the writer's voice?
Science and Humanities majors are different. Science majors value precision. Every move they make has a purpose. They rarely act on impulse. Humanities majors trust their feelings. They make decisions on intuition. They often seem inconsistent. Sometimes they seem downright spacey. Humanities and Science majors can get along. It's not because they have a lot in common. It's more that they fascinate each other. Each wants to see what the other will do next.
Sample Answer
Science and Humanities majors are different. Science majors value precision and purpose rather than impulse. Humanities majors trust their feelings and make decisions on intuition. They often seem inconsistent, even spacey. Still, the two types can get along, not because they have a lot in common but because they fascinate each other. Each wants to see what the other will do next.
Chapter 10, Exercise 3. Reduce this passage to a succession of simple sentences like the ones in the previous exercise. What effect do your changes have on the writer's voice?
Attitude clearly matters in fighting cancer. We don't know why (from my old-
Stephen Jay Gould, "The Median Isn't the Message"
Sample Answer
Attitude clearly matters in fighting cancer. We don't know why. I am a materialist. I suspect that mental states affect the immune system. Match people with the same cancer. Make them the same age. Make them the same class. Make them the same health and socioeconomic status. In general, those with positive attitude stend to live longer. They have a strong will and purpose for living. They have a commitment to struggle. They have an active response to aiding their own treatment.They don't just accept anything doctors say.
Chapter 10, Exercise 4. Rewrite the following sentences to break up overlong breath units. Take the revision a step further, if necessary, by cutting deadwood. How do your revisions change the writer's voice?
1) Most teachers would inform you, if you would investigate the real world rather
than basing your opinions on publications written by those who probably have never
spent a day in the classroom, that wholesale expulsions would not be necessary to
purge the classroom of disruptive individuals.
2) Contrarian investment strategy
assumes that the behavior of investments is essentially unknowable and therefore
when investors are left to their own devices they are as quite as likely to be wrong
as right about the direction prices will take from the time an investment is made.
3) Prestigious Greek classical styles of architecture were especially appealing
during the period before America's Civil War because the young country was trying
to attain a status equal in culture as well as in other ways to established countries
of Europe like Britain and France.
Sample Answer
1) Unlike some writers who have never spent a day in a classroom, most teachers would say wholesale expulsions aren’t needed to purge disruptive individuals.
Chapter 10, Exercise 5. Rewrite the following paragraph so that each breath unit is at least ten syllables longer or shorter than the one before it. Remember that breath units don't have to be sentences. There can be several within a sentence. Try to make your short breath units measure five syllables or fewer and the long ones fifteen or more. What effect does your revision have on the writer's voice?
Loving relationships are fragile. They are often undermined by bad ways of thinking. These ways of thinking make problems seem permanent. Partners may accuse each other of inborn character flaws. Selfishness or immaturity are examples. They may accuse each other of childhood hangups. They may say, "You're not mad at me. You're really still mad at your mother." They may accuse each other of wanting perfection. It's unrealistic to want things to be perfect always. This will never happen. All these ways of thinking have one thing in common. They direct attention away from the couple's immediate problem. A quarrel about how you behaved at a party can be solved. But changing underlying causes seems hopeless. They will still be there the next time there's a falling out. And dwelling on them makes another falling out more likely.
Sample Answer
Fragile as they are (5), loving relationships can often be undermined by bad ways of thinking that make problems seem permanent (27). Partners can be selfish or immature (10). They may accuse each other of inborn character flaws or persistent childhood hangups (22). "I know you're really not angry with me at all (12)," they say (2). "You're really still working out issues you had with your mother (15)." Or they may argue that the other partner unrealistically expects things to be never be less than perfect (29). These ways of thinking have one thing in common (11). They transfer attention from the couple's immediate problem to underlying conditions (24). A quarrel about a party can be solved (11). But changing underlying causes can seem a hopeless task for a couple to even undertake (24). And dwelling on them makes another fight more likely (13).
Chapter 10, Exercise 6. Rewrite as directed. What effect do your revisions have on rhythm and the writer's voice?
1) Make a monosyllabic word the sentence nucleus:
Darius the First
was perhaps the most able king of ancient Persia.
2) Add surely, an adverb of emphasis,
after was:
Nijinsky was at his best in those early performances of
Sacre du Printemps.
3) Add "you old hornswoggler" after Curtis:
Curtis,
there's no such thing as a left-
4) Create an it transformation to
emphasize Jerusalem artichoke:
The Jerusalem artichoke is the only
economically important root plant that originated in North America.
5) Invert, putting
the direct object "whose woods these are" first:
I think I know whose
woods these are.
Sample Answer
1) Make a monosyllabic word the sentence nucleus:
Perhaps the most able
king of ancient Persia was Darius the FIRST.
Chapter 10, Exercise 7. Rewrite this passage two times: first using as many words of two syllables or longer as you can supply, and then with a mixture of long and short words. You may need to use a thesaurus. What effect do your revisions have on the writer's voice?
Glass has been made a long time from sand and an alkali heated in clay ovens to the boiling point, skimmed, and cooled in molds in the shape of rounded objects like bowls or figures or mugs, or in flat sheets you can see through. Colors can be added while the glass is molten. To make glass tough, it is heated again and then cooled very slowly to make the molecules cling to each other so that the glass is harder to break.
Sample Answer
Glass has been manufactured for centuries from a melange of silicon and an alkali
heated to boiling in earthen ovens, skimmed, and cooled in molds creating rounded
objects like drinking utensils or in transparent panels. Colors can be added while
the glass is molten. To toughen glass, it is heated again and then cooled very slowly
to make the molecules adhere to each other making the glass harder to fracture. (Longer
words)
Chapter 10, Exercise 8. Rewrite this passage two times: first use as many words of one syllable as you can supply and no words of more than two syllables; next use a mixture of long and short words. You may need to use a thesaurus. What effect do your revisions have on the writer's voice?
Considering that constantly burgeoning demand for proscribed narcotics has created a voluminous seller's market, while unceasing efforts to interrupt supplies of controlled substances have demonstrated themselves ineffectual, a proposal has materialized for the government to provide free legal narcotic dosages to confirmed addicts. Supply having proven unresponsive to eradication initiatives, this suggestion adopts the alternate approach of expunging demand.
Sample Answer
Since growing demand for banned drugs has made this a seller's market, while all
efforts to scotch them have failed, the government may plan to give addicts free
drugs. If supply can’t be stopped, demand may be. (Shorter words)
Chapter 11, Exercise 2. Combine the following kernel sentences in five ways resembling the Barbary sentences. One of your answers should divide the information into two sentences, one long and one short. One of your answers should make deVELopment a sentence nucleus (see Chapter 8). Add a sentence to each of your combinations that would logically follow in a coherent sentence cluster.
Federal lands include parks.
Federal lands include wildlife refuges.
Federal lands
include marine sanctuaries.
Federal lands include other tracts.
Federal lands are
like islands of open space.
These islands are threatened.
These islands are surrounded
by development.
Sample Answer
Federal lands include parks, wildlife refuges, and marine sanctuaries, along with other tracts, but even these islands of open space are threatened by deVELopment. Private and even public concerns of all sorts are only too eager to infringe on protected areas.
Chapter 11, Exercise 3. Find the nouns in the following sentences and identify them as subjects, complements, direct or indirect objects, objects of prepositions or appositives. There will be more than one noun per sentence.
1) Scotland resents any hint of English domination.
2) Morton often cooks red beans
and rice.
3) Sally painted the upstairs windows shut,
4) A large Doberman bounded
up the marble steps after us.
5) Tina always eats lunch in the commissary.
Sample Answer
1) Scotland (subject) resents any hint (direct object) of English domination (object
of preposition of).
Chapter 11, Exercise 4. Combine these kernel sentences into sentences with at least one nominal phrase or clause and other constructions as you see fit. Somewhere among your answers be sure to include one of each: a gerund phrase, an infinitive phrase, and a noun clause. Keep the coherence of the passage in mind as you work.
1) Ambrose Bierce grew up in Warsaw, Indiana.
He enlisted in the Ninth Regiment
of Indiana Volunteers.
He enlisted in 1861.
He was eighteen.
2) Bierce fought
in the Civil War.
He fought for four years.
He fought more or less continuously.
He fought in West Virginia.
West Virginia was not yet a separate state.
3) Bierce
fought at Shiloh.
He fought at Stones River.
He fought at Chickamauga.
He stormed
Missionary Ridge.
Missionary Ridge overlooks Chattanooga.
He was wounded at Kennesaw
Mountain.
He was wounded in the head.
He was wounded by a sharpshooter.
4) He
returned to Indiana.
He returned to convalesce.
He convalesced on his father's
farm.
He returned to the war a year later.
5) He returned to the fighting at Nashville.
He also fought at Franklin, Tennessee.
His abilities were limited by his wound.
He was discharged from the army.
He was mustered out in January 1865.
Sample Answer
1) Ambrose Bierce grew up in Warsaw, Indiana, where in 1861 he enlisted in the Ninth Regiment of Indiana Volunteers at the age of eighteen.
Chapter 11, Exercise 5. Find the adjectives in the following sentences and identify the nouns they modify. There will be more than one adjective per sentence.
1) Long, ropey strings of orange pulp cascaded from the broken pumpkin.
2) The
furious doctor gave her guilty receptionist a stinging lecture.
3) Geese are large,
aggressive birds.
4) Switzerland is often cold and gloomy in May.
5) Cold and gloomy
in May, Switzerland is no place for tourists.
Sample Answer
1) Long, ropey (strings) strings of orange (pulp) pulp cascaded from the biggest (pumpkin) pumpkin.
Chapter 11, Exercise 6. Combine these kernel sentences into sentences with at least one adjective phrase or clause and other constructions as you see fit. Somewhere among your answers be sure to include one of each: a prepositional phrase, a participial phrase, and an adjective clause. Feel free to write more than one answer sentence per item. Try to make your sentences add up to a sustained passage, with passable internal coherence (Chapter 8), emphasis (Chapter 9), and rhythms (Chapter 10).
1) Samuel Bowles is a behavioral scientist.
He directs the Behavioral Sciences
Program.
The program is at the Santa Fe Institute.
Bowles is interested in moral
motivation.
He is interested in economic motivation.
He is interested in how the
two are related.
2) Bowles reported his findings.
His article appeared in Science
Magazine.
His findings were surprising.
They were based on a study.
The study concerned
a new program.
The program was put in place by six daycare centers.
The centers operated
in Haifa, Israel.
3) The centers had a problem.
Parents were picking their children
up.
They were picking them up late.
The centers imposed a fine.
Parents had to pay
the fine.
They had to pay for each late pick up.
4) The plan didn’t work.
The parents
were late more often.
This went against everyone’s expectations.
They wanted to know
why.
Bowles had an answer.
More than one force was working on the parents.
5) Paying
the fine was one force.
A moral obligation was the other/
This obligation was to
be on time.
Bowles explained this.
People paying the fine felt free.
They felt they’d
paid for being late.
Their fines bought that right.
The moral obligation went away.
That left only one question.
It was convenient to come late.
Was the convenience
worth the fine?
Based on Ronald Bailey,
“Does the Invisible
Hand Need a Helping Hand?”
Sample Answer
1) Samuel Bowles, director of the Behavioral Sciences Program at the Santa Fe Institute, is interested in moral and economic motivation and the relationship between the two.
Chapter 11, Exercise 7. Combine these kernel sentences into sentences with at least one adverbial phrase or clause and other constructions as you see fit. Somewhere among your answers be sure to include one of each: a prepositional phrase, an infinitive phrase, and an adverbial clause. Feel free to write more than one answer sentence per item. Try to make your sentences add up to a sustained passage, with passable internal coherence (Chapter 8), emphasis (Chapter 9), and rhythms (Chapter 10).
1) In 1995 Randolph Nesse and George Williams wrote Why We Get Sick.
The book
is based on a new approach to medicine grounded in evolutionary theory.
Richard
Dawkins, an evolutionary theorist, figures in the book.
In 1976 Dawkins wrote The
Selfish Gene.
2) Dawkins' ideas on evolution emphasize genes.
Genes don't serve
organisms.
Organisms serve genes by reproducing.
Reproducing organisms pass genes
on to the future.
Evolution may be just a mechanism serving genes.
It may work
by promoting reproductive success.
3) Our genes might promote some illnesses that
help them get reproduced long ago.
People died young.
A gene would want organisms
to reach reproductive maturity.
A gene would want to promote reproduction.
After
that a gene wouldn't care what happened.
4) Heart disease may have an evolutionary
rationale.
Much is brought on by rich diets and inactivity.
Fatty or sweet foods
supply a lot of energy.
This energy can be stored in fat deposits.
Inactivity
conserves this stored energy.
Fatter people may have been more likely to reproduce
in the evolutionary past.
Life was hard.
The food supply was uncertain.
Shorter
lives meant heart disease had less chance to develop.
The same tendencies are dangerous
now.
Food is abundant.
People live longer.
Fat deposits choke modern hearts.
5) Morning sickness may be another example.
Unborn babies are vulnerable to toxic
substances in food.
Nausea discourages intake of many foods.
Toxic, strong-
This reduces the fetus's risk.
There is a related phenomenon.
Young children are still vulnerable.
They have an aversion to strong flavors.
Based on Wray Herbert,
"Why Do We Get Sick? Ask Your Ancestors"
Sample Answer
1) In 1995 Randolph Nesse and George Williams wrote their book Why We Get Sick to explain an approach to medicine grounded in evolutionary theory by Richard Dawkins in his 1976 study, The Selfish Gene.
Chapter 11, Exercise 8. Combine these kernel sentences using parallel construction and other constructions as you see fit. Be sure to include at least one parallel series in each answer. Feel free to write more than one answer sentence per item. Try to make your sentences add up to a sustained passage with passable internal coherence (Chapter 8), emphasis (Chapter 9), and rhythms (Chapter 10).
1) The Hubble Space Telescope has found a belt of comets in orbit around the sun.
The belt reaches out beyond Pluto.
It contains many objects.
Pluto is the farthest
planet from the sun.
The belt reaches out 4 billion miles from the sun.
It is
called the Kuipper Belt.
2) The Kuipper belt was proposed by Gerard Kuipper.
He made the proposal in the 1940s.
He thought the solar system did not just end
with Pluto.
He thought debris was orbiting farther out.
This debris was from
the formation of the planets.
3) Seeing these objects was difficult.
There are
millions of them.
They are composed of ice and rock.
They are like dirty snowballs.
They are primarily black.
They reflect little light.
4) Anita Cochran confirmed
the belt's existence.
She leads a team of astronomers.
She got the space telescope
to record objects in the belt.
She focused on specific areas.
She used long exposures.
She was looking for an object the size of Manhattan.
4) Cochran found what she
was looking for.
She recorded images of objects.
Her success was surprising.
It pushed the Hubble Telescope to its limits.
Cochran said seeing the objects
was like spotting a 100-
Based on Paul Recer,
"Tiny Comets Surround Solar System"
Sample Answer
1) The Hubble Space Telescope has found an area of many comets, called the Kuipper Belt, circling the sun beyond Pluto, the most distant planet, and 4 billion miles out.
Chapter 12, Exercise 1. Rewrite the following sentences to put the subject at or near the beginning. Start at least one of your revisions with a short adverbial phrase or clause. In another, break the original sentence in two. What effect do your changes have on the writer's voice?
1) Years after founding phenomenology, a painstaking philosophical study of the
laws governing conscious experience, Edmund Husserl concluded objects had no existence
outside the mind.
2) Outgrowths of follicles arranged in certain tracts and forming
a protective, decorative and functional layer outside the skin, birds' feathers may
have evolved from the scales of Mesozoic reptiles.
3) Because the United States
resolutely maintained neutrality during the conflicts between France and Britain
brought about by the French Revolution and the Napoleonic Wars and because the angry
British began to impress American sailors and confiscate American cargoes in retaliation,
the War of 1812 began.
Sample Answer
1) Edmund Husserl concluded objects had no existence outside the mind, but only years after he founded phenomenology, a painstaking philosophical study of the laws governing conscious experience.
Chapter 12, Exercise 2. Revise the following sentences to provide more definite and expressive actors and actions. If the original wording is so vague you can't tell what it means, make up your own specific meanings. How do your revisions change the writer's voice? (Actors and actions to be replaced appear in italics.)
1) Certain parties have indicated that there may be problems with the way airbags
deploy in various models in our product line.
2) A major recording artist has developed
a promising marketing concept related to her latest album.
3) Native peoples were
introduced to European disorders and, lacking antibodies to control these succumbed
in disproportionate numbers.
Sample Answer
1) Drivers complain that the airbags in several of our cars can inflate unexpectedly.
Chapter 12, Exercise 3. Rewrite the following sentences to eliminate half the dependent clauses (in brackets). Change the sentence structure however you like but keep all the major ideas of the originals. Feel free to create new sentences. How do your revisions change the writer's voice?
1) [Because some welfare recipients [who had poor work histories] and [who could
make only minimum wages] chose to stay on public assistance indefinitely in Fond
du Lac, Wisconsin,] authorities designed a program, [which is called Work Not Welfare,]
to make [people [they considered to be welfare-
2) [When the program took effect] recipients [who had been on welfare a
long time] were told [that they had only two years [in which they could continue
to receive benefits]] and [that they had to earn those remaining benefits by performing
services [that helped their neighbors and other citizens.]]
3) [Although the program
appears to be working for people [who have cooperated with social workers and educators
[who have trained them for jobs [which have a future,]]]] costs for training, child
care, and other expenses proved far higher [than officials expected,] and many targeted
individuals have not cooperated [because they didn't believe [they could ever hold
a good job]] or [because they simply didn't want to.]
Sample Answer
1) [Because some welfare recipients with poor work histories and minimum wages jobs
chose to stay on public assistance indefinitely,] Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, authorities
designed Work Not Welfare, a program to make welfare-
Chapter 12, Exercise 4. The sentences that follow are marred by awkward interrupters. Revise them in one of the three classic ways: 1) move the interrupter to the beginning of the sentence, 2) move it to the end, or 3) give it a sentence of its own.
1) Impedance-
2)
The gene for blue eyes, which is fairly common today and even valued by some for
producing what they consider a beautiful eye color, arose as little as eight thousand
years ago.
3) Jefferson complained, and he maintained this complaint to the end of his life
with bitterness that only increased as he grew older, that revisions forced on his
Declaration of Independence by the Second Continental Congress left it a weaker document.
Sample Answer
Defined as the degree to which a circuit resists the flow of electric current, a resistance factor expressed as ohms—impedance is sometimes increased by capacitors.
Capacitors sometimes increase impedance, or the degree to which a circuit resists the flow of electric current, a resistance factor expressed as ohms.
Impedance is the degree to which a circuit resists the flow of electric current, a resistance factor expressed as ohms. This factor is sometimes increased by capacitors.
Chapter 12, Exercise 5. Revise the following sentences to avoid pairing multiple subjects with multiple verbs, to make passive verbs active, and to replace negative constructions with positive ones. Sentences may have more than one problem to correct. How do your revisions change the writer's voice?
1) Sally, her mother, and her cousins wandered through Charleston's historic district,
shopped for souvenirs, and had lunch near the water.
2) The university has not been
placed under sanctions by the NCAA.
3) The foil, the épée, and the saber-
Sample Answer
1) Sally, her mother, and her cousins wandered through Charleston’s historic district,
where they shopped for souvenirs, and had lunch near the water.
Chapter 12, Exercise 6. Revise the following sentences as directed. How do your revisions change the writer's voice?
1) As Nelson bent over her tiny hand a cloud (a towering cumulonimbus, or thunderhead)
suddenly obscured the sun. (Remove the digression and use end focus to emphasize
her tiny hand.)
2) Social thinkers considered gin, made from fermented cereal grains
and flavored with juniper berries, the scourge of the poor in eighteenth century
London, where gin shops dispensed cheap drinks to a laboring populace so degraded
by brutal living conditions that only the oblivion of drunken stupor could relieve
them from what Doctor Samuel Johnson called "the pain of being human." (Remove the
digression; break up to provide a short contrasting sentence.)
3) Three sects of
Jews have called themselves Hasidim, starting with the conservative pre-
Sample Answer
1) A cloud suddenly obscured the sun as Nelson bent over her tiny hand.
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