MONTGOMERY HAROLD INIGO

Caucasian Male

1. What is your physical description?

Wiry; 5’11”, shaggy brown hair, blue eyes.

2. Of what felony, or felonies, were you convicted?

Grand Theft Auto; driving under the influence.

3. How much longer do you have on your sentence?

Two years.

4. Most everyone in prison claims innocence, but are you really?

Oh hell no. I'm guilty as shit. They had me dead to rights.

5. What is your greatest fear, and how do you react when you face it?

Living past my prime; hopefully the oreos and booze (see question 7) will do me in before father time does.

6. When people talk about you behind your back, and they do, what are they saying?

He'd be an alright guy if he wasn't so damn annoying.

7. Everyone indulges in something from cheating on a diet to something dangerous; what is your guilty pleasure or vice?

Oreos. And booze. But mostly oreos.

8. What habit do you have that generally offends others?

Picking my nose and flicking boogers at whoever pisses me off. That was my signature move. (See question 10.) Got the crowd riled up. Not the same effect in real life, but old habits die hard, I guess.

9. What is the worst thing you have ever done to a loved one?

In 5th grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog. My sister was fine, but they got rid of Chunk. I really miss him.

10. Your father has pushed you to attain the sort of athletic glories he was unable to in his youth. What sport is your specialty?

Wrasslin'. Pops always wanted me to be a "serious wrestler." I went to college on a scholarship and was training for the Olympics, but I fell in love with the idea of being a WWE SuperStar. I appreciate the old man's "encouragement," but he thought wrestling for entertainment was an impure form of the sport. Piss on him. I was an amateur wrestler. While traveling the circuit, the event manager didn't give me my fair cut. So I took his Maybach for a spin. It spun alright, over and over. Three times. Then it stopped. I was so inebriated, I didn't even notice. Thankfully I was able to walk away from the accident... and right into a cop car.