ASPEN MORNING JOY

Caucasian Female

1. What is your physical description?

5'5", 130 lbs, Long, mousey, brown hair, brown eyes, forgettable face.

2. Of what felony, or felonies, were you convicted?

Burning down a chicken factory after setting all of the chickens free. Which inevitably set 1,000+ chickens to wreak havoc on the small town of Bradford. And maybe set fire to their only school... and... townhall... and firestation... you get the picture.

3. How much longer do you have on your sentence?

One year.

4. Most everyone in prison claims innocence, but are you really?

No, and proud of it. Sure, hindsight is 20/20. I didn’t think through what 1,000 chickens could do to a town... so... many... feathers... And sure, I didn't really know how fast fires could spread, especially in some podunk town.

5. What is your greatest fear, and how do you react when you face it?

Drowning in the ocean. Freeze up. I even feel queasy when I hear some stupid beach white noise music. Hell, you could probably say spas are my next biggest fear.

6. When people talk about you behind your back, and they do, what are they saying?

Oh, Aspen? Isn't that the girl that threw away her life to rescue chickens? God, her parents gave her everything and she just dumped it down a river. If I had parents with that much money I would just stay at home, eating my bonbons.

7. Everyone indulges in something from cheating on a diet to something dangerous; what is your guilty pleasure or vice?

Sometimes I forget my cloth grocery bags and I use the plastic store ones.

8. What do you believe you are better at than you really are?

Being radical. Being revolutionary. Saving the planet.

9. Who has hurt you most over the years, and why do you deserve it?

My parents. I know, I never lived up to the name they gave me, or the image they wanted me to portray. And they are right, I never turned out to be that successful heir to their camping tent empire. Yeah, it turns out that hippies LOVE camping tents made out of 100% renewable resources, like alpaca hair.

10. Before he left home, your father beat your mother. Why didn't he ever beat you or your sister?

Because we hid. We were jokingly called the Houdini's in the family because we were always gone in an instant.