JOHNNY JAMES JONES

Caucasian Male

1. What is your physical description?

I am middle-aged and a former small circuit professional wrestler who never made it to the bigtime. I am a physically imposing man nearly six and a half feet tall. I have a brown beard and long brown hair. I do not have any tattoos. I was once pretty ripped, but over the years some of that muscle has softened, and I have the beginnings of a middle-age gut forming.

2. What is your current occupation, and how did you acquire the skills needed for it?

I work mostly odd construction jobs now. My father worked construction for years, and in my early years that is how I made a living. For fifteen years, I was a professional wrestler touring the world in small circuit venues. I never made it to big promotions and only the most avid wrestling fans would know me. My ring name was "Three Jay." My knees just cannot take the punishment of the ring anymore.

3. Outside of work, what hobby, interest, or sport occupies most of your time, and why do you find it interesting?

I am an amateur fire-breather. I love showing off at parties and such and am able to spit fire up to ten feet away with ease.

4. What motivates you to get out of bed and keep going each day?

I am not a quitter. I keep going trying to make a living and be a productive part of the world. I am a patriot and all-around man’s man. I am proud of my life, of paying taxes, and of being a contributor to society.

5. What is your greatest fear, and how do you react when you face it?

I am afraid of my continued aging. I have always been a strong physical person. I am terrified of growing weak and dependent upon others.

6. When people talk about you behind your back, and they do, what are they saying?

They talk about how I never really made it. I did not seem to have just enough of the right skills or charisma or talent to get picked up by any of the big promotions. Deep down I feel like I am a bit of a failure, and I believe others talk about that. I would love to prove my worth to the world to show that I am more than a has been.

7. Everyone indulges in something from cheating on a diet to something dangerous; what is your guilty pleasure or vice?

I have a lot more time on my hands now without the constant travel, so I have rediscovered my love of beer and pretzels. Man, do I love pretzels.

8. What habit do you have that generally offends others?

When I get drunk, things tend to get out of hand. I get rowdy and roughhouse. I have been known to break tables, windows, and other things just playing around. If I could have channeled some of that energy on the circuit, I might have become a household name.

9. What is the worst thing you have ever done to a loved one?

I found out my brother was sleeping with my wife. I confronted him, and we got into a fight. I power bombed him through a glass table, and he now has a scar from his eye to his chin. We do not speak anymore, and I am divorced from my wife. She did not stay with him either, so there is that.

10. Your father taught you how to hunt something very dangerous. What was it?

I learned very early on how dangerous a nail sticking up out of a wooden board can be as a trip hazard. My early jobs with my father involved inspecting the flooring and always driving in the nails that had worked their way up. Now I am a bit compulsive about it. I am always watching wooden floors for protruding nails. When I find them, I drive them down with a hammer while warning everyone how dangerous such a nail can be.